I’m Back, Baby!

Hello all!

As you may have noticed, I haven’t really posted anything in awhile. Well, that’s what happens when you put on big boy pants and a big boy mustache to disguise your identity.

However, I really notied something after awhile: I stopped using the website I accidentally created after drinking a quart of cheap gin one night.

So I’ve decided, after barely putting any thought into it, that it’s time to begin posting stuff again. And that it’s time to learn how to tie my shoes. One thing at a time.

And so, dear readers, expect to begin seeing much more content posted on the site, be it articles, blogs, podcasts, or other stuff. I should have actually put some thought into hhow I’d end this blog.

 

 

Featured Image from Wikipedia Commons

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OPINION: The Crayon Sharpener Was The Death Of Art

School is back in session which means it’s time to drop everything, grab a handful of cash and go shopping for supplies. Glue sticks, colored pencils, and, of course, a mini stapler. Those are all supplies for school.

However, there is one item you should definitely avoid: the crayon sharpener.

You see, in my humble opinion, the world of artistry passed away on February 23rd, 1990, the day the sharpener was released to the public. We thought it was an amazing idea. Finally, a way to keep our crayons long lasting.

But we lost something that day.

We lost the grime and grit of artistry, the thing that separates the casual and the professional game. By catering to the casual crowd, the real crayon artists lost something.

Where they were once tools with which to express ourselves, the Crayola corporation turned them into simple playthings.

 

 

Written By Anthony Elio – CC Photo Courtesy Of Flickr/beglen

 

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Guide To Firework Safety

It’s finally here, the day we celebrate the birth of both our nation and explosions. But while you’re honoring the great Uncle Sam, have you considered any of the possible repercussions of improper firework usage? That’s right, you haven’t. So let’s go over some simple tips for practicing firework safety this 4th of July weekend.

1) Don’t Use Fireworks To Burn An Effigy Of David Spade

While burning an effigy can be done well, it seems a bit inapropriate to be using fireworks to burn your David Spade effigy. A simple torch or gasoline trail will get the job done without seeming in poor taste.

2) Keep An Eye On Fellow Firework Users

While everyone else is enjoying the fireworks show, any present teens may use this as an opportunity to raid your private stash of vintage pornography. Doing frequent headcounts will help to keep a lid on any potential pornography theft.

3)Politely Ask Jason Pierre Paul To Leave 

Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, more shame on me. After Pierre-Paul’s fireworks accident last year, you’re best off asking him politely, yet with authority, to leave.

4) Don’t Light Your Fireworks With The John F. Kennedy Eternal Flame

No matter your opinions on the late President, you have to know it’s not good practice to use his eternal flame, located at his Arlington grave, to light off bottle rockets, firecrackers, or sparklers. Snakes, however, are fine.

 

CC Photo Courtesy Of Wikipedia Commons

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I’m Going To Talk About Brexit Even Though I’ve Done No Research

Something that has been a hot topic around all social media is the recent news of Brexit. Internationally, everybody seems to have their own unique opinion on what happened, whether they live in the area or not.

But I’m sure you’re wondering what I’m thinking. You must be, you are on my blog after all. Well, I’ve done absolutely no research on the topic whatsoever. But I still feel qualified to speak on the matter.  

I feel the entire issue to be very complex. However, I think it’s quite clear who’s in the wrong. No matter what side you’re on, we all know the difference between right and wrong.

But what will the effects be of the decision? I personally could see it going both ways: it could either be a substantially good thing or a substantially bad thing. Or it could make no difference at all.

What’s important is that we’re talking about it in the open. As long as we all continue to have strong opinions and be honest about these kinds of things,  our rich history of online opinions will continue.

 
CC Photo Courtesy Of Wikipedia

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