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I generally try not to burn any bridges. I like to keep as many connections as possible, as not to hurt my personal brand. However. despite the fact that I’ve began advertising for hats on my website, it’s time I said something: there are simply too many kinds of hat.

Now where did this all start? Well, I went to a local shop and asked for a hat. When the employee asked “what kind?”, I didn’t even know what to say. What kind? I just wanted a hat, lady, not a loaded question. Man, I wish I had said that to her instead of standing there until the store closed trying to think of something witty.

But that’s not the point.

The point is that this has gotten out of hand. According to my research, there are currently as many as 5 different kinds of hat right now. Uhh, ever heard of paradox of choice?

 

EDITOR’S NOTE: Following this brutal takedown, AnthonyEliOhyeah.com has lost hats as a sponsor.

 

 

CC Photo courtesy of Flickr/kamshots

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Since it’s announcement almost two years ago, Star Fox Zero has been a very anticipated release for the Nintendo Wii U. The game features all the classic characters from your childhood such as Fox McCloud, Peppy Hare, Slippy Toad, and Inga the Impotent But Helpful Mongoose. Not much was known about the game outside of the fact that there would be no references to the Hindenberg disaster of 1937 out of respect.

Well, the game is finally being released this Friday, with many of us online celebrities receiving advance copies so we can review the game before its release. So you must be chomping at the bit and wondering “is this game worth spending my hard-earned Bitcoins on?” Well I’m here to answer those questions and many more for you.

Now, the only road bump is that my review copy has not come in time. Must have been a miscommunication in the shipping department. However, I am still contractually obligated to review the game, so we’ll have to make do.

The game is set in space from what I can tell. And I believe there’s a few different planets as well. Man, this is kind of tough without playing the game.

You pilot your ship throughout space to fight other space things. I assume. The game probably has replayability as well, from what I’ve heard. Man, I really should have checked on that shipping. But who has time these days?

Needless to say, I’m pretty sure I recommend this game.

 

 

CC Photo Courtesy Of Flickr/Bagogames

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Today we are focusing on J.K. “Justified Kicking” Rowling. She is best known for writing the Harry Potter series of books. However, did you also know that she shares the same birth date, blood type, and biological parents as actor J.K. Simmons? Read on to learn more facts about Ms. Rowling:

Planned Works: Harry Potter And The Student Loan Collection, Harry Potter And The Search For Affordable Life Insurance, Harry Potter And The Realization He’s Not What He Once Was

40 Yard Dash Speed: 4.4

Highest Award: Nestlé Crunch Bar’s Crunchtastic Author Of The Month, October 2002

Least Favorite Harry Potter Character: Evil Harry Potter, an evil version of the titular character who was planned to be revealed as the true villian of the book series in book 7

Notable Quote: “Originally I wanted Harry to die in the last novel. But not killed by Voldemort. I wanted him to collapse after getting a nasty papercut from reading one of his own books. I wanted it to be a public service announcement of sorts. My books may have caused millions of hemophiliacs to die and it makes me greatly ashamed of my creation.”

 

 

 

CC Photo courtesy of Flickr/fast50

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There are times when someone must know to stay silent about something. To watch peacefully as so many lies are spread throughout the world. Well, I for one, won’t stand for it anymore. I’m going to be the one to say it:

Count Chocula is NOT a feminist icon.

And never will be. Why have so many people been trying to use this cocoa vampire as a sign of the fight for equality between men and women? It’s beyond me.

This isn’t a criticism of feminism as much as it is a questioning of our culture. We need to stop projecting our ideals onto our beloved food icons. Remember when the atheists began to align themselves with Charlie the Starkist tuna? Or when the Communists began using the Kool Aid man as their icon?

Purely misguided.

Whatever happened to Rosie the Riveter? Or Susan B. Anthony? Or Penny from Inspector Gadget?

It’s time to restore them as the true feminist icons we need right now.

 

 

CC Photo Courtesy of Flickr/jeepersmedia

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2016 started off with a bang. Then, after then bang was kind of a boom. Then, after that, was a light sizzling. Well, it’s April already and it’s time to catch up on everything we should have been doing all year. Which begs the question, have you done anything nic for actor Dennis Quaid?

I’m not here to guilt you or make you feel bad, but come on, we’re already four months into the year. Have you given him a call? Sent a letter? Have you re-watched Yours, Mine, And Ours on Blu-Ray?

That’s what I thought.

You know his birthday was Saturday, right? What did you do to celebrate? Did you remember to read through his carpentry book “Get It Made With Quaid”?

Like I said, there’s no point in hurting your feelings. I’m not mad at you. I’m just dissapointed.

And so is Dennis.

 

 

CC Photo By upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/17/Dennis_Quaid_DN-SC-04-10040.JPEG