Time has allowed us to figure out the validity of our established laws more thoroughly. Sometimes a law stands the test of time, other times we realize too late that a law needs to be abolished. For example, did you know you could legally kill a man in Massachusetts as long as it was during a mattress sale? Luckily, we mostly repeal these laws before it’s too late.
Other times we, as Americans, aren’t so lucky.
The “Two For Flinching” Act, made by lawmakers in Colonial times, has gone on too long. The law was originally created when historical lawmaker Biff Abraham mimed punching his sister. When his sister flinched at the pretend punch, Biff had an inspired idea. A law to punish those who prematurely avoided a predetermined punch. He would immediately draft means to make his concept official law.
His sister, on the other hand, was tried as a witch and burnt at the stake.
While the law was all well and good for whenever Colonial Times were, this is the here and now. It’s time to make the changes as a society we need.
America is a country of change. We changed the original Statue Of Liberty because it only had four fingers. We changed the Bill Of Rights to follow an aa bb rhyme scheme. We gave Abraham Lincoln a hat to cover his perm.
It’s time we made a change. If not, what seperates us from the people that probably didn’t even have flashlights?
Not very much.
Cc Photo Courtesy Of Flickr/60588258@N00
It’s been said that we live in a very evolved world. We are much more aware of things now that we weren’t decades ago. We understand that everyone is different, and that we should celebrate those differences.
But what about bald people?
The follically challenged have been notably discriminated for years. It’s no secret that the public has a distaste for the bald. Case and point: have we ever had a bald President? I’m not sure.
We’ve relegated the bald to the background of society, forcing them to wear caps to conceal their differences. We advertise wigs, plugs, and bundles of animal fur to our bald bretheren so we can avoid the glare from the back of their heads. Should we feel bad about that?
I’m not sure.
It’s really difficult to say, as a society, whether we should treat bald people any differently than us normals. We don’t want them to feel bad because they’re different, we want them to feel bad for other reasons.
I can’t say for sure whether or not we should treat the bald equal to the rest of us. And, really, it’s not my place to judge whether we should continue devaluing them.
All I know is the answer is out there somewhere.
Only time will tell how society’s view of the bald develops.
CC Photo courtesy of Flickr/faceme
While he has been in the public eye for decades, there have always been questions swirling around him. Did what people alleged he did change his career? Did he even do what everyone believes he did? Well, I’m here to weigh in on what everyone alleges he did. Personally, I don’t think he did it.
I don’t think he rushed for 2,000 yards.
O.J. Simpson was a beloved running back for the Buffalo Bills in the 70’s. However, while he had great success in the NFL, his recent career has been marred by one question: Did he do it? Did he rush for 2,000 yards?
While the days of a strong running game are dwindling , O.J. Simpson belongs to an exclusive club of 2,000 yard rushers that includes Barry Sanders and Terell Davis.
Supposedly, that is.
But how do we really know if he did it or not?
Isn’t it a bit suspicious that there isn’t as much evidence surrounding what O.J. was accused of. Statistics weren’t as big a focus in the 70’s, which may have led to some improper handling of the case. If such evidence was mishandled, how can we make the judgement?
In fact, did we even use the same measuring back then? Inflationwise, you could buy a cola for a nickel in the seventies. Have yards possibly changed as well? (UPDATE: I did some research and they do not. Please disregard.)
All I’m saying is we need to take an unbiased look at this case. Maybe we’re just saying he did it because the media wants us to believe it.
And even with all the evidence in place, isn’t there a chance he didn’t do it?
By derivative work: Everyme (talk)O.J._Simpson_1990_·_DN-ST-91-03444.JPEG: Gerald Johnson – O.J._Simpson_1990_·_DN-ST-91-03444.JPEG, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=4840423
There is a saying that every hero needs a villain. Every yin needs a yang. Well, for hamburger hero Ronald McDonald, that villain is, and always will be, the Hamburglar. Donned in striped gear befitting hs criminal history, this man has been stealing hamburgers for years and will continue for the forseeable future. But while you may view him with disgust, I have just one question:
What if he is only stealing hamburgers to feed his starving family?
The media may want you to believe he is a common crook, but how accurate are they? Look at the source of this propaganda. Most of the rhetoric spewed about the rosy-cheeked burger thief has come from McDonald’s. Does that sound like an impartial source? I think not.
And yet we all sit back, cofortable with watching the character assasination before our eyes.
I hate to editorialize, but I can’t take any more bashing of this modern day Robin Hood. I, for one, have been blessed with food on he table throughout my life. Why should I judge a man that can’t make it work in a tough job market?
Maybe it’s time we turn the other sesame seed bun.
Photo Courtesy Of mcdonalds.wikia
Written By W.R. Hayden
In a statement that shocked the country and a small PBS studio Thursday February 11 during the Democratic Presidential Debate, Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders announced his plans to bring back Seinfeld for one more season if he is elected president. The announcement comes after a sweeping win in the New Hampshire Democratic primaries, following a loss by coin-toss to Hillary Clinton in Iowa earlier this month.
“I wanted to keep the momentum going,” Sanders said after the debate, “The people loved my SNL skit with Larry David. So I told Larry, ‘look, together we can help take the United States back from the interests of the super-rich–back into the hands of the American people.’”
Sanders has offered many controversial solutions to the current economic and social issues facing the American people, including a single payer healthcare system, tuition-free college, Medicaid for all, increased minimum wage and extreme Wall Street and large corporation reforms. His announcement to bring back Seinfeld for one more season, however, may be his most daring and extreme move yet.
In response to Bernie Sanders’ wild proposal, Hillary Clinton claimed she would bring back 10 more seasons of How I Met Your Mother, but was unable to offer details as to how she would make it happen.
After much speculation about what his next move would be, Peyton Manning finally addressed recent interviews about his future. Would he go out on top like general manager John Elway? Would he attempt to do it all over one more time? Would he try and take the helm of a brand new franchise?
Walking up to the podium, a solemn-looking Manning was obviously getting ready to drop something serious on the American public. He cleared his throat, gave a somber grin, and began speaking.
“This is something I’ve beeen thinking about for a long time, you know.” Manning said. “These kind of things are years in the making, and I can try and And while I’ve stayed mum on it so long, I’m finally announcing my retirement from not enjoying the crisp, refreshing tast of Coke Zero anymore.”
Manning bowed his head, took a sip of his Coke Zero can, and gave and audible, refreshing “Ahh!”
“That’s the kind of low-calorie taste that makes these kind of announcements easier.” Manning said, taking many more sips.
Following his announcement he took a minute to thank all those responsible for mustering the strength to make his announcement, such as the fast internet speeds of Xfinity, the great selection of slacks at Sears, and the invigorating effects of Yoplait’s Human Grape Hormone yogurt.
CC Photo Courtesy of Flickr/denverjeffery